I am in the beginning stages of banishing my own negative self talk. By ‘negative self talk’ I mean that little voice that keeps nagging me about everything I do, telling me it’s not good enough or I don’t deserve a compliment.
After my first 5k the first thing I said to myself was, ‘it’s only 5k, it’s not that big of a deal, why should you be proud of yourself?’ But I did awesome, I finished, I ran more then I ever had before while I was training for the 5k, I was a beginner. I didn’t expect much, I exceeded my own expectations.
The same goes for Taekwondo tournaments. That little voice in my head needs to belittle everything I do. Even when winning a gold medal I will have something negative to say to myself, a reason why I didn’t really deserve first place, or telling me why I shouldn’t celebrate.
The worst is compliments. When I receive a compliment it is very hard for me to just say ‘thank you’. Sometimes I am able to force myself to tell them thank you, and then in my head I will tell myself they are just being nice or polite, they didn’t mean it, they had to say it.
This kind of negative self talk is very hard on your self-esteem, and can cause stress. I want to it stop.
The next time you feel that negative voice creep into the back of your mind, try one of these methods:
- Remember your worth. You are a great parent, you have great kids, you are successful, you are good at what you do, etc. Don’t let negative self talk steal your thunder!
- What would your sister/husband/best friend tell you in this situation? You were just given a compliment by a co-worker on a job well done. How would your sister/husband/friend handle it? Accept the compliment and move on, you deserve it!
- Change your thinking. You are in public and something embarrassing happens. You fell flat on your face, in the middle of a crowded mall. Instead of running to hide, ask yourself if anyone cares. Chances are – they don’t. They were too busy watching their own kids, or playing on their cell phones.
- Move on from negative thinking. You realize that you have been calling a client the wrong name for half an hour. Acknowledge, apologize, move on. There is no need to dwell.
- Don’t let yourself over-think. If you do find yourself dwelling on something, distract yourself. Take a walk, play a game with your kids, call a friend. Don’t throw yourself a pity party.
Do you have a little voice in your head constantly telling you you aren’t good enough? Tell me how you are conquering it!